Monday, November 22, 2010

people are complete idiots.

okay, here is why people are complete idiots.

example one. a man comes into caribou coffee and heads directly for the prepack beans. i ask him if he has any questions, and he asks which beans are freshest. i tell him that all of the beans are very fresh due to them being sealed in air-tight bags and explain that they will be good for the next three months (and point out the January expiration dates). he proceeds to look at every bag to make sure none expire any later than january, because he only wants the freshest beans. finally, he finds two bags that meet his standards, then, and i almost punched him in the face here, he asks if we can grind them for him. REALLY!? REALLY!? even if beans didn't expire for a year, the second you grind them, they will immediately lose a lot of their freshness and flavor and won't stay good for more than a couple weeks, if that. what a fucking dumbass.

example two. a man walks into caribou tonight with his glasses in his mouth and says to me, with a smirk on his face, that he can't get them out. it turns out that he put the end of his glasses in his mouth for a second while he was reaching for his phone and they got stuck in between his front teeth. he looked at me, expecting me to be of some assistance. do i look like a mothafuckin dentist? i am a barista in a coffee shop. i will NOT pull anything out of anyone's mouth. i told him there was a bathroom down the hall. he came out like ten minutes later and acted like it was no big deal. i wanted to vomit in his face.

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