Pushing my friends into empty rooms with the people they are crushing on and pimping other friends out to boys at parties is my way of helping out during the holidays. End of story.
In other news, here is an updated list of my worst fears:
1. Getting in a car accident
3. ZOMBIE ATTACKKKK
4. Dying without doing all the important stuff in life: making actual money, falling in love, getting married, having kids, raising those kids with the same loose morals I have, seeing them get married and start families of their own, and, finally, dying a solid death.
6. Serial killers.
7. Fiji Boys.